UMBRA
My eyes are most comfortable in dark spaces.
Umbra is my perception of woodland in the peripheries of the day where in early hours the light slowly emerges. In later hours, light wanes and shadows deepen.
I am drawn towards the shadows through visual challenges. Years ago I had laser surgery to correct short-sightedness. This left me with dry/sensitive eyes and I’ve since developed various eye conditions including dry eye syndrome and meibomian gland dysfunction. In 2023 the meibomian glands appeared to deteriorate rapidly over a relatively short period. This deterioration cannot be reversed.
The symptoms became severe. As a photographer I have a strong connection to how light interacts with the world. I knew I had to adapt.
I found solace walking through the woods during twilight hours, when I observed an unpredictable duality of serenity and mystery which mirrored the comfort and fear I was feeling. Comfort in solitude, away from the light, in the meditative rhythm of walking, embracing change. Fear of the unknown, of my limitations impacting others, of losing my ability to photograph, of what lay within the shadows.
The location, Chepstow Park Wood is a conifer plantation interspersed with patches of deciduous trees, on an ancient woodland. Historically associated with Chepstow Castle and its gentry, it’s now managed by the forestry commission and publicly accessible. At first view it appears ordinary, yet it’s primal spirit compelled me to continuously return, drawing from the wisdom and healing properties within this living, breathing, ecosystem.
In the woods at these liminal times, my other senses intensify to compensate for reduced visibility. Photographing in these hours, I worked with more intention, drawing on heightened senses to lead the way, each step deliberate, as I felt my way underfoot through the rough, entangled terrain. Familiar and unfamiliar sounds guided my instincts. Patiently I waited for the photo (light) receptors in my eyes to absorb the shadows, encouraging details, shades, hues and forms to unveil themselves. Utilising the camera as a mechicanical eye, I was pushing the sensor of the camera, no longer feeling limited, but with expanded vision, uncovering the visually arresting of this other world, that I hadn’t perceived before.
This project is about adaptation combined with resilience and expanding opportunity in the face of challenge. The process, a collaboration between myself, the woods and the camera, without any one of these, the work could not be whole.
My eyes remain most comfortable in dark spaces. Through professional consultation I became better informed and began with a daily regime of heat and drops followed by punctal plugs. This was followed by a series of Meibomian Gland Expression, Zest and Intense Pulse Light (IPL) treatments. I continue the daily regime combined with maintenance treatments. The symptoms are much more manageable. Depending on the severity of symptoms there are many options available.
